Tag: 2019

What I Miss About Working

Maternity leave is time you use to adjust to adding another person to your family. It’s also a great time to commit to daily writing or editing, and I’ll be blogging about that next month. However, there are things I miss about working:

  1. Goals. Housework is an ever populated list directed by yourself. Work work is an directed by another’s expectations and to me that is refreshing. My company decides my work budget, minimum requirements, and gives approval to me when it is complete. I get to do activities, which I love, and creatively employ my solutions.
  2. Ideas. More than one novel idea I have involves the geriatric population and dementia. My work gives me access to people and situations that provoke ideas. Also, when trying to describe things I see, I come away with great lines like “stomped vegetable nose”.
  3. Income. It will take money to make money as an author, and working provides that resource. Also having a paycheck means I can afford traveling and other experiences that will enrich my stories.

Since I really do enjoy being an activity director, it’s difficult for me to imagine not being around seniors. Perhaps if I do need to give up traditional work in the future I can still volunteer to get my old people fix. My blog A Smile Among Wrinkles can tell you a little more about that part of my life.

 

What do/would you miss about working?

 

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What Not to Do When Your Friend is OverDue

Since I’ve experienced going past the 40 week mark with both babies, I feel able to talk about the preferences of overdue friends. In both circumstances I had people waiting on me to give birth before leave expired or a visit ended. Here is one way I described it:

My body is a single bedroom apartment staged for a solitary tenant- one bed, set of dishes, arm chair, etc. Yet I’m sharing it with someone. This is a person I love, but I can’t wait until they move out.

My suggestions for what not to do when your friend is overdue:

Author Ashley Crookham on her due date

1. Ask if you’ve had the baby yet. It’s better to make the assumption your friend has not had the baby yet. Chances are they will tell you when they do. If they have given birth, they can make the happy correction.

2. Judge the way they spend their overdue time. The best an overdue person can do is spend that time the way they want to keep themselves comfortable and not go crazy. If they want to sleep the whole time, don’t tell them to talk a walk or a ride on a rocky road. If they want to nest, don’t tell them to put down the laundry basket and vacuum cleaner and just wait for their child to get here in a dirty house.

 

If your friend is overdue some things they might like:

Author Ashley Crookham on her due date side belly

1. Tell them simply you are thinking about them and that if they can think of anything you can do for them, including listening to their feelings, you are there.

2. Send snacks. Something non-perishable probably won’t go amiss right now and can be stored for post-baby hunger.

3. Tell them what is going on in your life. Give them something else to focus on.

4. Tell them how perfect sized their belly is. No one wants to hear how big they’ve gotten or worry about their belly being too small.

5. Ask what is the worst thing about their situation right now. Deciding between their discomforts and worries can help them feel validated and perhaps lead them to think about a solution for one big thing instead of feeling helpless among a bunch of things they can’t control.

 

The great thing about being overdue is that you can’t sleep and are antsy. Perfect time for writing and lots of negative emotions to use as creative fuel.

What are your thoughts on what to due and what not to due?

Reasons to Avoid Writing

  1. Your one year old is picky and wants to be held constantly. You want to write, but your hands are always full.
  2. You are pregnant and not sleeping well. The time you could be writing is suddenly the time you might be able to rest.
  3. You must maximize the time you and your spouse are both off and awake at the same time. The idea of facing a computer when you could be facing him is not acceptable.
  4. You want to get caught up so you can focus when you get down to writing. Laundry, dishes, organizing, decorating, cooking, cleaning. Will you ever really be caught up?
  5. You’re at work and would rather try to leave on time than bring your laptop and spend a half hour on your writing while the distractions of your home life are held at bay.

I can write all day about why I can’t write all day. What I’ve learned by creating this list is that I am not accountable to a routine and therefore can always make the choice not to write. Instead, I want to commit to 300 words a day.

What are your reasons to avoid writing?